it does not seek its own interests
My first date with my husband, we went for a run. I was training for my first full marathon and he happen to run to stay in shape. On Thursdays, my training schedule had me running six miles. While my husband ran a 1.9 mile loop around his neighborhood. He asked me to join him on his run (our first date!) and I agreed. I wanted to get in the correct mileage so before coming over his house for my date, I ran four miles. I got to his house and we ran his 1.9 mile loop. This went on for a couple of weeks and he never knew I was pre-running to get in my mileage.
I did this because it wasn’t about me and my training. I did this because I eagerly wanted to get to know him. Kind of like how he used to always watch chick flicks with me. (And honestly, still does to this day.) We were in the fresh, new love stage and wanted to be with the other person so much that we involved ourselves in each other’s interest.
And then we got these nice rings and said “I do” and slowly we allowed ourselves to think that we didn’t have to care about the other’s interest anymore. We slowly had our own interest and didn’t seem to care about the other person’s interest.
It easily could have stayed that way without notice. Growing as two separate people living two separate lives. But thankfully God didn’t want that.
He called us to be spouses, for life. For better, for worse, for sicker, for poor. And that means that we need to be interested in what delights our spouses. Sure it isn’t going to be 100% magical, 100% of the time. But marriage can’t stop us from being interested in each other and only be interested in ourselves.
Recently I’ve gotten back into writing and reading. This easily could have been something I did alone and didn’t share with my spouse. But I was very excited about all my ideas and shared every bit about what I was thinking and feeling with him. Today after Mass when the Deacon came up to me to discuss my project, my husband’s eyes lit up and he was very enthusiastic about my project. It delighted my heart so much to see him enthusiast about my interest.
My prayer is that next time he shows interest in something, I don’t push his conversation to the side. Next time, I will delight in his interest so we can grow together further.